While I was drinking I was out in pubs with old friends, doing old stuff and getting into trouble. Also drinking alone in parks and not wanting to see anyone because I wanted to keep drinking alcohol to myself but I felt alone, depressed and didn’t know what I was going to do next to myself or others around me. My head was mentally unstable and my thinking was all over the place. I wanted to die and throw myself off a bridge.
Now I’m in a lot better place not perfect, but happy with what life has given me. I have more opportunities, more responsibility and more trust which I would never have if I was drinking. I help run a fruit and veg shop; have keyholder duties with Goodwin, got new friends and am part of different organisations. I also have my own flat which is secure. I have a new start with more responsibility and I’m looking forward to making it my home.
I don’t necessarily give myself rewards but I have more money now so I treat myself to clothes, cinema and meals out. I don’t want to be over confident and lose my sobriety because I’m doing well, but I’m not perfect, just in recovery.
One day at a time.
Shaun Carter
Published 7th November 2013
